Peach Fizzy II: Bottom's Up
by Anne-Marie
Summary: The second chapter is now fixed, by some ff.net miracle. Anyhow, sit down and take a sip of my silly brew. Jareth and Sarah try and deal with some of the bizzare effects of mixing P.Fizzy and magic.
1. Magical Rogaine!

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Dusts off Story

Ya' know, I wrote this a long time, but the story must go one, since I have many things in store for the wonderful Goblin King. Hehehe

*Hey! I thought I got rid of your muse, that last attempt certainly looked like it.*

*My dear king, I thought you would have learned by now. *

*learned what?*

*You know, that we listians, wellwe feed off each other reallyone person's inspiration spreads to another, so well, you didn't take away other people's Muses, so I still have inspiration. So, Ha! So on with the story then.*

*What? No! You can't*

*I can, and I will, this has waited long enough.*

* Curtains draw back *

And so we left our Goblin King sitting in his Macramé Chair in his macramé room. (yes he has one, he may try to deny it, but when you get a lovely macramé sweater unexpectedly for Labymas, well, you know who made it). Anyhow, as I was saying, for those who don't remember my story. Peach Fizzy, a birthday gift for the girl who conquer the Labyrinth and its manly king's heart. He drank some, thinking it was no mach for his * dramatic music * kingliness. **Snorts** Riiiightwell you can tell how it went from there. 

Now for the new part.

Sarah felt herself being thrown out of bed, like she was some bit of dirty laundry.

*THUMP*

"Owwwww," she blearily peeped out from behind the curtain of tangled hair that had landed in her face. Scanning the bed she noticed it lacked one Goblin King. She went into the bathroom, still not tights, well actually there were, his rumbled ones that he had worn beneath his bellbottoms. But still, no King. "Ok, Stupid Goblin King. " Sarah muttered as her eye caught what her bathroom mirror was showing. "Huh? Looks to me like someone forgot to turn off their spell." 

She looked over to her dresser and picked up a bottle.

A small label floated to the ground. Sarah stopped to pick it up.

"What's this?" she mused out loud. In small tiny print it read:

"WARNING: Don't Mix Peach Fizzy with Magic. May result in" the words smudged from moisture blending the ink "falling off" there was much more, but she couldn't read anymore of it.

Sarah snorted back a laugh. "oh this is precious!"

:: Well should I just leave it there and make him deal with the consequences?::

::Goblin King taps foot impatiently behind the Authoress::

::What?::

::You know what my Dear Listian::

::Oh-kay! Fine, she will go and help you, satisfied? Stop tapping your foot! Yeesh!::

Sarah stretched and pulled on a pair of sneakers. Grabbing the Peach Fizzy she headed for her bathroom.

"How'd he fit through here? Stupid skinny man." Sarah muttered as she tottered on her sink, prying herself through the portal which her small medicine cabinet mirror had become. She clutched the bottle tightly as she fell head first into a sleeping Goblin King's lap. Jareth grunted as they came head to head, as it were. Sarah groaned as she rolled to an upright position. Checking to make sure the bottle was still intact she looked upward and blushed like a red balloon as she realized where * exactly * she had landed.

"Breath in, breath out," she repeated to herself a she stood up. She poked him fiercely in he arm hoping to wake him up. It didn't work, she tried again., still nothing, giving up hope she yanked on a strand of his hair She shrieked in horror as it came completely off his head and lay limply in her hands. Leaving a bald spot where had been.

"Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!"

::snicker::

::UNDO IT NOW!!!::

::Can't what's done is done, and all that jazz. Surely you understand that your majesty?::

::You will regret this.::

::Surenow where was I? Oh yes!::

"Holy crap! Oh! Oh! I know! I have that Rogaine." Yes she had Rogaine, Toby had shaved his head on a dare and she had bought it as a gag gift.(is that deus ex machina for you?) She reached her arm into the still shimmering portal and felt around her bathroom. Yanking something back she thought might be it she frowned as she looked at her waxing kit.

"not it, time to try again."

She plunged her arm in again, this went on for several minutes.

Finally, after all of her toiletries were around her feet she had the Rogaine in hand. Quickly she opened it and dabbed a bit on his hehe, bald spot.

Almost instantly, it grew. And grew, and grew, soon enough Sarah was knee deep in his hair. Her jaw by this point was on the floor (well as close to it as it could get through the hair and toiletries...) "Oh crud, this just isn't my day..."


	2. Musical Chairs

*~*~*~*~   
Part 2 

*What did you do to me?* 

::Authoress looks innoccent:: 

*Don't even try, fix this. I don't have loyal acolytes demanding to see me like this, they want my dignity.* 

*Whatever, you ever think if you took it down just a notch, we might not make as much fun of you?* 

*Pft* 

Sarah heard the music of doom playing in the background, she looked to Jareth in horror as she saw his eyelids flutter open. The Goblin King was waking up. 

"Uhhh…who let Humongus do the Macarena in my head?" he groaned, a stray rainbow bubble hiccuped out of his mouth. He had yet to see Sarah, after first opening his eyes he had quickly closed them. She was hoping she might be able to just sneak back to her bathroom, she tried to lift a foot in the direction of the swirling portal. Her sneaker, however, was too entangled with his Rapunzel-like hair and she tripped flat on her face, well as flat as the mountains of hair would let her 

"Mmmooommmphhrrmmm." She pushed herself up and pulled the long hairs from her mouth, they tasted like peaches. 

"Who's there?" Jareth muttered from his chair (his macrame chair). 

*For the last time, I don't have a macrame chair.* 

*Sure you don't.* 

"Umm…it's just me Jareth" Sarah spoke softly, knowing his head must have the whole Tabernacle choir practicing in it. 

"Sarah?"Jareth knew it was her, and he was embarrassed, he must look a wreck, with the hangover he was feeling. "Why did you come back to my Labyrinth?"He demanded in a harsh angry voice. 

*Gee, someone doesn't take embarrassment well.* 

*Oh, do shut up.* 

*Sure J, in a million nevers maybe.* 

::Jareth shoves the Authoress out of the way and starts writing the story himself.:: 

The Goblin King stared icily at his former opponent, he could tell through the daze of his wretched hangover that she was no longer the little girl with a room full of toys. Vaguely he remember seeing the less toy filled room, sleeping in it. Sleeping in her bed, he purred. Sarah bed, happy thought indeed. He noticed Sarah was staring at him strangely and gave her his most beguiling smile. She just huffed crossed her arms. Oh, that was right, he had been mad at her. Time to fix that, after all, he those happy Sarah's bed with Sarah thoughts to make real. 

"So how have you been Sarah?" 

"Just fine you bad boy you. Why don't we go back to my place and have a bit of fun?" She winked at him naughtily and rubbed her back side suggestively. Jareth smiled devilishly, in that way that makes all women swoon. He is after all, the most handsome male to ever exist. 

In the background a loud bed thumping song could be heard playing. 

"On second thoughts Sarah, let's just stay here," he snapped his fingers and they were out of that horrible macrame room, something the Wiseman had done in his absence, not a room of his own creation, macrame was below royalty. His hair was no longer the length of the equator, it was back to its beautifulness that made all females want to jump his sexy bones. 

His bed was black and silky, there were dark furs thrown across the stone floor. Sarah had taken off her shirt, he stopped looking at his room and starting paying attention to the good stuff. 

"Dang girl! You sure did grow up." 

"That's right Jareth, and I have been awfully naughty, you want to punnish me?" This last bit was said in a breathless whisper. Jareth stepped forward and put his hands on her-- 

::Authoress is torn between fits of laughter and the need to rip off Jareth's head:: 

*What have you done to my lovely story? You horrible, horrible person!* 

*It is rather an improvement if I do say so* 

*Right…good thing I have friends in high places mister. Since you messed her up so badly, I think it is only fair--* 

::Authoress opens door and lets Sarah into the room.:: 

::Sarah shoves Jareth out of the chair and onto the floor:: 

Resume story. 

As Jareth placed his clammy hands on Sarah the trance was broken, the alcohol on his breath was stale and rancid, her nose shriveled in response. 

"Get off me you toad!" She punched him, the goblin monarch reeled back, his balance already compromised by his hangover. 

"But…Sarah..?" He wimpered. 

"But what? You thought that we were what? Friends? Lovers? Bosom companions?" She was rather proud of this retort, Hoggle having told her the real story behind that peach. 

"Well, yeah…maybe?" 

"Whatever, you are pathetic. I only came here to tell you that that Peachy Fizzy you were drinking has some side effects when mixed with magic. I hope you haven't used too much." 

Jareth's look of horror confirmed otherwise. 

"Well, I did use some…to get back here…and to sleep…and to fix my hair…and to bring us to the bedroom…nothing big…"He started biting his lip in worry. 

"Uh, yeah, well, I guess you can handle it then, I will see you later," Sarah made her way to the door marked "Exit". 

*Wait you are going to end my story there?* 

*Uh, yeah.* 

*No way! I have plans, big plans! Geeze, first J makes it into a raunchy love fest and now you, Sarah, make it into a well, lame story. Gah! * 

::Authoress shoves Sarah off the chair and resumes story.:: 

::Jareth snickers at Sarah.:: 

::Sarah glares at Jareth and sits next to him behind the Authoress. Both stare intently as the Authoress resumes the story.:: 

*DOink* 

Sarah stopped in her tracks, the exit sign having dissapeared suddenly and the bizzare noise catching her attention. 

"sarah…um..can you stay and help, maybe?" Jareth's voice sounded very far away. 

"Jareth, I am sick of this," she turned around, "I tried to help you, I did help you and you treated me like cow dung. And now you are hiding from me? What kinda of weirdo are you?" 

*tug tug* 

Sarah looked down at her feet, something was caught on her pants. It looked like a small dandelion. Wow did the labyrinth have strange creatures. 

"Jareth, you leave me alone, and tell all of your little minions to leave me alone too!" She stooped to pluck the offensive creature off her pants. 

"Aiiiiieeeeeeiiiii!" Jareth squealed as Sarah encompased his whole body with her hand. Sarah opened her hand. 

"Jareth? Is that you?" 

"No, it's the tooth fairy!" Jareth stomped his tiny booted foot. 

"Wow, really? Gee, I always thought well, that she had wings." 

"SHE?!?!" Sarah's ear's rung, his voice ranged now all the way into dog whistles. 

Sarah cackled. 

"I suppose you want my help Jareth?" she raised an expectant eyebrow. 

"Yes, I already asked for it." 

"You didn't say the magic word." She shook a tree sized finger at him. 

"You mean there is a magic word that will make this all better?" Jareth looked at her hopefully. 

"No, you nitwit. I meant please." 

"Oh." He paused "Please?" Awww, he just looked so cute. Sarah felt the urge to kiss him, and if she wasn't in danger of accidentally inhaling him she would have. As it was, she had to settle for gently petting his fuzzy head with her finger. 

"Sure, what do suggest we do? I mean, can't you just wait for the effects of the fizzy to wear off, won't it all go back to normal." 

"Maybe," he squeaked, "but I doubt it," he sat down thoughtfully in the palm of her hand.   
  



End file.
